God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project. -Anonymous, Graffito

I used to be fairly religious. Superficially, at least, I thought there was a God, that the the Bible was mostly true and that my confirmation meant something. I participated in my confirmation class discussions, I gave homilies at the student services. I enjoyed church.

I don't know what happened. I think this probably lasted three years, at the most. I hid it well I think, though not on purpose. I was perfectly content with it, I was private about it. I didn't force it on anyone, I didn't wear cross necklaces. I think at the most I was only mildly religous, but I still don't know what happened. One day, I thought that everyone probably made their own religion out of institutionalized ones, that every Christian was a little different. Some time passes and now I think there may be a higher being, maybe.

Here's my problem: I don't know that God, the higher power, the Creator or whatever you wish to call him, really cares about how we worship him, unless that is the sole purpose for which we were created. And if that is the case, then this is a rather vain and selfish god who I do not think deserves my worship whether he created me or not. And if we were created for some other purpose, if there is some other reason why we exist and why we have this island, ocean blue planet and all we're worrying about is the specific ritual details about how we worship, then we are probably doing something wrong.

If God only gave us pleasure to tempt us, I am quite content with giving in. That is just cruel and sadistic. Perhaps, by being so concerned with what not to do, we might be missing the point. Maybe, if there is a higher power, the test is one that we are most desperately failing. How to live harmoniously, how to be happy, how live and let live...

I sound like a tree-hugging, hemp wearing hippie. All I'm trying to say is that perhaps if we were less concerned with living by specific rituals, deadlocked rules and commandments given to us by an incomprehensible God, and more concerned with living with basic human rules, rules we can all understand, we'd be happier. And if whatever created us has a problem with that, then we rebel. There are more of us than there are of him anyway. We can totally take him.

You might want to stand back... I think there is a lightning bolt in my future.

A Play To Live By

"Never support two weaknesses at the same time. It's your combination sinners — your lecherous liars and your miserly drunkards — who dishonor the vices and bring them into bad repute. Nurse one vice in your bosom. Give it the attention it deserves and let your virtues spring up modestly around it. Then you'll have the miser who's no liar; and the drunkard who's the benefactor of the whole city."

Malachi Stack
The Matchmaker by Thornton Wilder

It's a farce, supposedly, a comedy designed to make you laugh. And you laugh, uproariously. But you also think for a minute. And what you think about isn't ethereal or abstract. Basically - how do you enjoy life? And what is with puritanical obsessions with morality and living correctly? Vices shouldn't be harmful, and they shouldn't be mean. But somewhere, throughout the course of history, enjoying one's self became a sin. Which, if you think about it, is completely ridiculous. We're here, we don't know why - we don't really know how we started or who pushed the button or how. But there are so many things to enjoy...

Bad decisions are good for you in small doses. Eating McDonald's french fries dipped in a chocolate shake. Getting a little drunk and dancing with someone you don't know. Reading trashy romance novels. Showing a little leg. Staying up entirely too late to watch a movie (that may or may not have Joshua Jackson in it...)

Make bad decisions every once in awhile. They cure existential crises and they make for good stories. And life should be about the pursuit of good stories.

And while you're at it:

"The difference between a little money and no money at all is enormous...and the difference between a little money and an enormous amount of money is very slight. And they can both shatter the world."

Dolly Gallagher Levi
The Matchmaker by Thornton Wilder